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Between festive events, sugary treats, and the build-up to presents under the tree, children can find themselves overwhelmed, which might lead to challenging behaviour.
The key to keeping the season joyful for everyone lies in maintaining a balance of firm but kind discipline.
Here’s how you can navigate this festive season with patience and consistency.
1. Set Clear Expectations Early
Before the festivities kick off, have a family chat about the rules and routines that will still apply over Christmas. Explain boundaries in a positive, encouraging way. For example, “We’ll be visiting family, so let’s all remember to use our kind words and listening ears.” Setting the stage ahead of time helps children understand what’s expected, even in the midst of all the excitement.
Every year throughout the year my father ran a Points for Christmas Scheme whereby points were added or removed for various infractions of the rules. The operation of this scheme mainly started in October and ran until Christmas Eve. It was only years later that I realised that the scheme was, pretty much, bogus. But in fairness to my late Father: It worked!
2. Stick to a Routine Where Possible
Christmas often disrupts usual schedules, but maintaining some consistency can help children feel secure. Ensure they still get enough sleep and have regular mealtimes. Tired, hungry children are far more likely to act out, so plan festive activities with their needs in mind.
3. Be Proactive About Sugar Highs
The holidays are synonymous with treats, but an excess of sweets can lead to hyperactivity and emotional outbursts. Strike a balance by offering nutritious snacks alongside festive indulgences. If a sugar rush is inevitable, plan some outdoor play or physical activity to channel that energy in a positive way.
4. Offer Choices to Empower Them
Christmas often involves a lot of "must-dos" — from sitting through carol services to visiting relatives. To reduce resistance, give children choices where you can. For example, “Would you like to wear your red jumper or your green one today?” or “Shall we build a snowman before lunch or after?” This approach gives them a sense of control and encourages cooperation.
5. Stay Calm and Consistent
When overstimulation leads to misbehaviour, it’s important to respond calmly and consistently. Rather than reacting in frustration, gently but firmly remind them of the rules. For instance, if a child is shouting indoors, you might say, “I know you’re excited, but inside voices help everyone feel calm. Let’s save the loud cheers for outside.” Follow through with consequences if needed, but ensure they’re fair and proportional.
6. Acknowledge Their Feelings
Children experience Christmas with big emotions — joy, anticipation, and sometimes frustration. Let them know it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. For example, if they’re upset about having to leave a party, you could say, “I see you’re having so much fun, and it’s hard to leave. Let’s plan something else fun for tomorrow.” Validating their emotions helps them feel heard and builds trust.
7. Praise Positive Behaviour
Children thrive on positive reinforcement, and Christmas offers endless opportunities to catch them being good. Praise acts of kindness, patience, or cooperation. Saying something like, “I’m so proud of how you shared your toys with your cousin,” encourages more of the same behaviour and helps them feel valued.
8. Build in Downtime
The festive season can be just as exhausting for children as it is for adults. Schedule quiet moments to recharge, whether it’s curling up with a Christmas story or having a cosy film night. Downtime helps everyone stay calm and reduces the likelihood of meltdowns.
9. Model the Behaviour You Want to See
Children take their cues from the adults around them. If you stay patient, flexible, and kind, even when things get stressful, they’re more likely to mirror that behaviour. Remember, how you handle the holiday chaos sets the tone for the whole family.
10. Focus on Connection Over Perfection
At the heart of Christmas is togetherness. While traditions and activities are important, what children will remember most is the time spent with loved ones. Make room for laughter, cuddles, and moments of connection, even if that means letting go of perfection.
The Christmas season can be a whirlwind, but by using firm yet kind discipline, you can guide your children through it with grace.
This balanced approach ensures that your family can savour the magic of the holidays while keeping things harmonious.
After all, a little planning and patience can turn even the most chaotic Christmas moments into cherished memories.
Wishing you and your family a joyful, love-filled Christmas!