Alone This Christmas? That Doesn’t Mean You Have to Be Lonely

For some, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, filled with laughter, family, and traditions. But for others, it can bring a sharp pang of loneliness, especially if this is your first year spending it alone. 

Whether it’s due to a move, a breakup, or simply the way the circumstances have fallen, being solo this festive season doesn’t mean it has to be bleak. In fact, it’s an opportunity to create a unique and fulfilling holiday experience tailored entirely to you.

Here are some ways to thrive and adapt while embracing a solo Christmas:

1. Reframe the Narrative

Instead of focusing on what you’re missing, think about what you’re gaining: freedom, self-discovery, and a chance to break away from obligatory traditions that may not resonate with you. This is your holiday to shape.

2. Start Your Own Traditions

What have you always wanted to do at Christmas but never could? Eat a decadent breakfast in bed, binge-watch your favourite movies all day, or open presents at midnight? Start a tradition that excites you, no matter how unconventional.

3. Connect Virtually or Locally

Thanks to technology, it’s easier than ever to stay connected. Schedule video calls with friends or family, or join online communities celebrating Christmas. Locally, consider attending a festive event, a carol service, or even volunteering—it’s a brilliant way to meet people and spread holiday cheer.

4. Volunteer for a Good Cause

Many charities and community organisations need extra hands over the holidays. Serving meals, wrapping gifts, or simply providing companionship can fill your day with purpose and connection while making someone else’s Christmas special.

5. Treat Yourself

Splurge on something you love, whether it’s a luxurious meal, a cosy Christmas jumper, or a long soak in the bath with your favourite scents. Celebrate yourself—you deserve it.

6. Get Outdoors

A brisk winter walk can do wonders for your mood. Whether it’s through a park, along the coast, or just around your neighbourhood, nature has a calming and restorative effect. Bonus: walking is an excellent way to work up an appetite for a Christmas feast, solo or not!

7. Rediscover Hobbies or Learn Something New

Use the quieter time to pick up a book you’ve been meaning to read, start a creative project, or learn a new skill. It’s the perfect distraction and may become a fulfilling part of your routine moving forward.

8. Focus on Gratitude

Take a moment to reflect on the positives in your life. Write down things you’re thankful for, no matter how small. Gratitude can shift your mindset and help you appreciate the joy in simple moments.

9. Embrace Quiet Moments

While Christmas is often loud and bustling, there’s a peaceful beauty in a quiet celebration. Light some candles, play soft music, and savour the stillness. It’s a chance to reconnect with yourself in ways that can be overlooked in the chaos of larger gatherings.

10. Plan for Next Year

If spending Christmas alone isn’t something you want to repeat, start thinking about next year now. Reach out to friends or family to make plans early, or consider booking a trip to a destination where you can celebrate with like-minded travellers.

Remember: Alone Doesn’t Mean Lonely

Christmas is a deeply personal experience, and there’s no one-size-fits-all way to celebrate. If you’re spending it solo, focus on making the day meaningful and enjoyable in your own way. This year may look different, but it could also be the start of a beautiful new tradition—one where you discover the joy of your own company and the endless possibilities of a self-made celebration.

Some Churches offer "Blue Christmas" services for people who are bereaved or facing a difficult Christmas  https://churchsupporthub.org/all-resources/how-we-adapted-blue-christmas-for-the-bereaved

You’ve got this. Wishing you a Christmas filled with peace, joy, and a touch of magic.

Don’t Let the Blues Steal Your Christmas Cheer

As the festive season rolls in, we’re surrounded by twinkling lights, cheerful carols, and the promise of joyful gatherings. 

But what happens when you’re just not feeling it? 

That quiet heaviness, the sense that everyone else is revelling in Christmas magic while you’re struggling to muster a smile. 

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Feeling down at Christmas isn’t uncommon, and it’s okay to admit that the holiday season doesn’t automatically bring joy. But that doesn’t mean you have to let feelings of sadness, anxiety, or stress overshadow the season. Let’s talk about ways to navigate these emotions while still finding some sparkle in the season.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step to feeling better is accepting how you feel. There’s no shame in admitting that you’re struggling. Life doesn’t pause for Christmas—whether it’s work stress, financial worries, grief, or just a lingering sense of loneliness. Pretending to be happy when you’re not can be exhausting. Give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling without judgement.

Set Realistic Expectations

The pressure to have a “perfect Christmas” can be overwhelming. Social media, films, and even adverts paint an idyllic picture of the season—something few of us actually experience. Take the pressure off. Christmas doesn’t have to be a big production; it’s okay to keep things simple. Focus on what’s meaningful to you, whether that’s a quiet evening with your pet, a catch-up with a close friend, or even just treating yourself to a festive snack.

Prioritise Self-Care

Christmas often comes with a busy schedule, but it’s vital to carve out time for yourself. Take a walk, journal your thoughts, or even have a duvet day if you need it. Don’t feel obligated to say “yes” to every invitation—learning to set boundaries is a gift to yourself. And don’t underestimate the power of rest and routine; even during the holidays, maintaining healthy habits can help stabilise your mood.

Reach Out

If you’re feeling isolated, try to connect with someone. Whether it’s a quick chat with a friend, a phone call to family, or attending a local event, even small moments of connection can help you feel less alone. If your feelings of sadness or anxiety feel overwhelming, it’s also a good time to seek support. Speaking to a counsellor or helpline can be a lifeline when you need it most.

Find Little Joys

Even in darker times, small joys can be found. Perhaps it’s the glow of fairy lights, the smell of mulled wine, or the comfort of a warm jumper. Engage in small, seasonal activities that make you feel good, whether it’s baking biscuits, writing Christmas cards, or cuddling up with a hot chocolate and a festive film. Focus on tiny moments of happiness—they can add up.

Remember, It’s Just a Season

Christmas, for all its sparkle and splendour, is just a small part of the year. If it feels too heavy right now, remind yourself that it will pass. You don’t need to have everything sorted by the New Year, and it’s okay to approach January at your own pace.

The Gift of Kindness

Lastly, be kind to yourself. You’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough. The magic of Christmas isn’t in expensive gifts or elaborate plans—it’s in the quiet moments of love, gratitude, and compassion, including the compassion you show to yourself.

If you’re feeling a bit low this holiday season, remember: you’re not alone, and you don’t have to let the blues steal your Christmas. With a bit of gentleness and care, you can still find your own quiet joy in the season.

Some churches run special Blue Christmas services for people like yourself. Google "Blue Christmas in my area" and see what results you get.

Here’s to a Christmas where peace matters more than perfection. You’ve got this.

How to Cook the Perfect Singleton Christmas Feast: A Guide for One

Christmas can still be a time of indulgence and joy even if you’re dining solo. The trick to pulling off a wonderful meal for one is all in the planning and preparation. 

Whether you’re opting for the traditional roast, or something a bit more inventive, here’s how to make your singleton Christmas feast a perfect culinary experience – all while avoiding excess stress or waste.

1. Plan Your Menu

Cooking for one at Christmas doesn't mean you need to hold back. However, it does mean you should be strategic. Instead of cooking an entire turkey, consider a turkey crown or turkey breast. Both offer that classic flavour but with far less waste. If turkey’s not your thing, a Cornish hen, duck breast, or even a beef fillet might hit the spot. Pair your main protein with the classic roast vegetables—carrots, parsnips, and Brussels sprouts. Or if you are vegan a nut roast might fit the bill.

2. Scaling Down Ingredients

The key challenge in cooking a Christmas meal for one is avoiding excess quantities of food. Use online portion calculators to help scale down your ingredients. For example, you might need just 1 or 2 King Edward potatoes, a small bunch of sprouts, or a couple of parsnips. Many supermarkets offer smaller portions of vegetables or ready-to-roast options in small packaging.

If you're roasting a bird, consider getting turkey legs, turkey crown, turkey slices or chicken thighs. These cook quickly and still give you the essence of a traditional Christmas roast without needing a whole bird.

3. Perfect Timing for a Stress-Free Day

Timing is crucial when it comes to preparing a meal that will be ready all at once. Here’s a rough timeline for a simple yet perfect roast meal:

1:30 PM: Preheat your oven to 180°C (fan 160°C). Season your turkey breast or other meat of choice with herbs, butter, and seasoning. Place it in the oven to roast, checking the recommended cooking time per 500g.

2:00 PM: Prepare your vegetables. Cut your King Edward potatoes into quarters, parsnips into spears, and carrots into chunks. Toss them with olive oil, salt, and rosemary, then pop them on a baking tray.

2:30 PM: Add your potatoes and veg to the oven. If you’re making pigs in blankets, these can go in on a small tray at this point too.

2:45 PM: Boil some water and get your Brussels sprouts on the hob. They need about 5-7 minutes to soften. You can also prepare a quick gravy with stock and any drippings from your meat. Consider adding a dash of sherry for a festive twist.

3:00 PM: Everything should be ready. Let your meat rest for a few minutes while you plate up the vegetables and pour your gravy.

4. The Essentials for a Solo Feast

While it’s tempting to go all out, it’s important not to overwhelm yourself. Stick to the essentials that you really love. Here are a few must-haves to make your feast special:

Roast Potatoes: These are a Christmas staple, crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside. Cook them in goose fat or olive oil for that golden crispness.

Stuffing: A single-serving stuffing is easy to make. Mix breadcrumbs with herbs, onions, and sausage meat, roll into balls, and roast alongside your other veg.

Gravy: Whether homemade or store-bought, gravy ties the whole meal together. Add a splash of red wine or cranberry juice to give it a festive kick.

5. Dessert: Christmas Pudding or Something Simple

No Christmas meal is complete without a sweet ending. If you love tradition, a mini Christmas pudding is perfect—just the right size for one. You can buy a ready-made pudding that takes only minutes to heat up in the microwave. Top it with brandy butter or cream.

For something lighter, consider a single-serving mousse, trifle, or even a homemade chocolate fondant. The goal is to treat yourself without overcomplicating things.

6. Leftovers: The Best Part?

Even when cooking for one, you’re likely to have a few leftovers. Don’t let them go to waste! Here are some ideas to transform them into something exciting:

Turkey Sandwich: Layer your turkey with cranberry sauce, stuffing, and a bit of gravy in a crusty bread roll.

Bubble and Squeak: Fry up your leftover potatoes, sprouts, and vegetables with a bit of butter, making a crispy bubble and squeak. Serve with a poached egg on top for Boxing Day breakfast.

7. Creating the Ambience

Just because you’re cooking for yourself doesn’t mean you should skip the festive ambience. Set the table with a proper plate, napkin, and maybe even a small centrepiece. Light a few candles, play your favourite Christmas music, and make the day feel special.

Conclusion

A singleton Christmas feast can be every bit as enjoyable as a large family gathering, if not more. You can cook exactly what you want, at your own pace, and treat yourself to a delicious, stress-free day. With careful planning and a bit of festive cheer, your solo Christmas will be one to savour.

Enjoy your meal and have a Merry Christmas!

How To Survive Your First Christmas Alone

Your first Christmas alone doesn't have to be terrible. Make sure that you plan what you are going to do well in advance and that you arrange to keep busy over the holiday period.

Be organised and don't leave any spare time when you might brood. Don't worry about what your ex partner is doing or who they are spending it with; make sure that you are so busy having a good time that it doesn't matter what they are doing. Don't let any negative feelings (anger, jealousy) about your ex get in the way of enjoying yourself.

Prior to the Christmas break take advantage of all the parties you are invited to. If you haven't got a company party or a networking 'do' to go to then why not throw your own party? You can even throw themed parties - there are various pamper, chocolate and jewellery parties available. If everyone brings a bottle and a plate of food hosting a party doesn't have to be too expensive.

One of the options available is to go away on holiday. Why not fly to the Canary Islands with a friend. Have champagne by the swimming pool on Christmas Day and on New Years Eve thoroughly enjoy the party atmosphere. If you don't know anyone who is single why not try Buddies4Travel (www.buddies4travel.co.uk) who can help you find a suitable travelling companion.

Alternatively, if you lead a hectic life, you could decide to spend the time on your own and have some quiet 'me' time. Stock up on your favourite foods, a good book and some classic DVDs and relax.

Don't forget to buy yourself a self-indulgent present such as a beauty treatment, a massage or a new outfit.

If you have other single friends who are going to be on their own over Christmas you could get together and have a house party. Why not play some board games such as Scrabble, Scattergories, Trivial Pursuit or a Murder Mystery? You don't have to be a child to play games! If money is an issue make a pact not to buy each other presents or limit the cost of presents for each other and share the cost of the food and drink.

Another option is to volunteer to work for a charity over Christmas. Why not help provide lunch for the homeless or visit a lonely elderly person? These websites provide some ideas about how you can hel:-

www.timebank.org.uk/volunteer_christmas/
www.do-it.org.uk

If you have children you should communicate with your ex about the arrangements for the holiday well in advance. Reassure the children that you will be OK while they are spending time with your ex, that you have plans and will not be sad or upset. Ensure that they are happy with the arrangements that have been made for them.

Have a very Merry Christmas!

Sue Atkins is a Parenting Expert, Broadcaster, Speaker and Author of the Amazon best selling book "Raising Happy Children for Dummies" one of the famous black and yellow series and the highly acclaimed Parenting Made Easy CDs. She has also just launched her 1st Parenting Made Easy app for iPhones and iPads.

She is currently writing a new book for Random House called "Parenting Made Easy" which will be available in April 2012.

Sue offers practical guidance for bringing up happy, confident, well behaved children from toddler to teen.

She regularly appears on BBC Breakfast and The Jeremy Vine Show on BBC Radio 2 and is the parenting expert for many BBC Radio Stations around the UK. She has a regular monthly parenting phone-in on BBC Radio Surrey & Sussex and her parenting articles are published all over the world.

To receive Sue's free ebook bursting with practical tips and helpful advice from toddler to teen log on to www.theSueAtkins.com and download it instantly today.