The Case for Simple, Easy-to-Follow Menus: Why Less Is More in Dining

Menu confusion is a real problem 

My wife and I decided to enjoy some Christmas fare from the menu of a rather high end restaurant. Or, rather, we tried to. 

Although the special Christmas menu had pride of place on every table on both floors of the restaurant it transpired that most of the items on the Christmas menu were only available if one had pre-booked a special Christmas deal or something of that nature. 

This fact was not actually contained anywhere on the Christmas menu so starters were not available, nor were any of the Christmas desert options or the cheese platter. 

In fact the only sort of Christmas menu item that was available was a chicken burger served with a pig in blanket skewered through it. Which, although tasty wasn't really that much of a Christmas menu. 

And that set me thinking about menus in general, which occasioned the writing of the following blogpost.

A restaurant’s menu is its first real interaction with the customer. It’s more than just a list of dishes – it’s a reflection of the establishment’s style, personality, and promise. 

However, in an effort to impress, some restaurants fall into the trap of creating menus that are overly complicated, filled with jargon, or unnecessarily extensive. Or have secret escape clauses as above.

While creativity and variety are important, a menu that confuses or overwhelms the customer can harm the dining experience. Here’s why keeping menus clear, concise, and approachable is essential for a successful restaurant.

1. A Confusing Menu Creates a Bad First Impression

Imagine sitting down, opening a menu, and being greeted with a labyrinth of obscure terms, endless options, or overly wordy descriptions. Instead of excitement, the customer feels frustrated or unsure. When patrons have to ask for clarification or spend too long deciphering the menu, it creates unnecessary stress and delays.

A well-structured, easy-to-read menu makes customers feel comfortable and confident in their choices, setting a positive tone for the rest of their dining experience.

2. Decision Fatigue Is Real

Too many options can be overwhelming. This is known as decision fatigue – the more choices people have, the harder it becomes to make a decision. A menu with dozens of dishes, variations, and categories can leave diners feeling anxious or dissatisfied, even after they’ve placed their order.

A streamlined menu with a thoughtful selection of dishes helps diners make quicker, more satisfying decisions. It allows them to focus on enjoying their meal rather than second-guessing whether they missed a better option.

3. Overly Complex Language Alienates Customers

While it’s tempting to use fancy culinary jargon to describe dishes, it can alienate customers who aren’t familiar with the terms. Words like sous-vide, emulsion, or gastrique may sound impressive, but they can also confuse or intimidate diners who just want to know what they’re ordering. And potentially dangerous when it comes to allergies that a diner might have problems with.

Clear, straightforward descriptions that highlight the key ingredients and flavours help customers feel at ease. A menu should make dishes sound appealing, not like they require a dictionary to understand.

4. Too Many Choices Can Compromise Quality

A massive menu often raises a red flag: how can a kitchen maintain high-quality, fresh ingredients across so many dishes? When a restaurant tries to cater to every possible preference, it risks spreading itself too thin.

A smaller, focused menu allows the kitchen to specialise in a select range of dishes, ensuring they’re prepared to perfection. It also allows for better ingredient management, reducing waste and improving consistency.

5. Simplicity Speeds Up Service

A complicated menu can slow everything down. Customers take longer to order, staff spend more time explaining dishes, and the kitchen faces a greater challenge juggling too many options. This can lead to longer wait times, frustrated diners, and stressed staff.

A simple menu streamlines the entire dining process. Customers order more quickly, service flows smoothly, and the kitchen can focus on delivering excellent food.

6. A Focused Menu Highlights the Restaurant’s Strengths

Restaurants with clear, concise menus are often the most memorable. By offering a curated selection of dishes, they showcase what they do best. Whether it’s a handful of signature items or a focus on seasonal ingredients, a streamlined menu communicates confidence and expertise.

Diners are more likely to trust a menu that feels intentional rather than one that tries to be everything to everyone.

7. Customers Want Clarity, Not Confusion

Ultimately, diners want to know three things:

What’s in the dish?

How is it prepared?

How much does it cost?

Menus that bury this information in overly creative descriptions or cluttered layouts create unnecessary confusion. Clear formatting, simple language, and a logical flow make it easy for customers to find what they’re looking for.

A menu should be a bridge between the restaurant and the customer, not a barrier. Overly complicated, hard-to-follow menus can frustrate diners, slow down service, and compromise the overall experience.

By keeping menus simple, focused, and easy to navigate, restaurants can create a more enjoyable, stress-free dining experience. A well-designed menu builds trust, highlights the restaurant’s strengths, and allows customers to order with confidence.

In dining, as in life, sometimes less really is more.

How to Ruin Your Restaurant or Gastropub in Time for Christmas: A Guaranteed Guide

How dare you expect decent service?

My wife and I write on food and drink matters and we both have backgrounds in the catering and pub trade. My wife's mother and my father were both chefs and we have family members in the pub and restaurant trades both here and in the USA and Canada. So we know what to expect in a reasonably expensive restaurant. 

We were visiting one of our favourite gastropubs when my wife was served a glass of Merlot that was not to the usual high standard of the pub. She said: "This is dreadful!" She asked me to taste it and unlike their previous Merlot, this was not buttery smooth, this was harsh and unpleasant. We checked the wine list. They had changed the wine they serve.

When our gourmet burgers arrived rather than being served on proper crockery as previously they were served on marked and scratched very small wooden trenchers (very Medieval) that were not large enough to stop the food from escaping onto the uncleaned table. 

My wife normally has several glasses of wine whilst I have several pints of beer with our meals.. We cut our visit much shorter than normal and we have cancelled our plans to have a Christmas meal there. My wife joked: "It's almost as if they are following a guide on how to wreck their restaurant trade for the Christmas period!"

And I thought: Time for a blogpost on this very subject!

The festive season is one of the most anticipated times of the year for the hospitality industry. It’s a golden opportunity for restaurants and gastropubs to make a lasting impression on customers, attract new clientele, and build loyal patrons who’ll come back long after the Christmas lights have been long taken down. 

But if you're looking to do the complete opposite, perhaps to achieve a spectacular implosion in time for the new year, this guide is for you. Here’s how you can absolutely guarantee to ruin your restaurant or gastropub this Christmas.

Step 1: Serve Cheaper, Poor-Quality Wines

Nothing says “we don’t care” quite like replacing your carefully curated wine list with the cheapest bottles you can find. After all, why bother offering your customers a quality bottle of Merlot or Bordeaux or an elegant Sauvignon Blanc when you can stockpile bargain-basement plonk that tastes like vinegar?

Here’s how to maximise the damage:

Switch to the Cheapest House Wines: The cheapest box wine will do. Your customers won't notice the difference, right? Clue: they absolutely will. There’s nothing quite like the disappointment of a glass of overly sweet, or excessively dry and poorly aged wine to ruin a festive dinner.

Stop Offering Wine Pairings: Your knowledgeable sommelier or staff member recommending wines? Get rid of them. Just let customers fend for themselves, and if they ask for suggestions, train your remaining staff to respond with a shrug and say: "I don't like wine!"

Serve at the Wrong Temperature: Serve white wines warm and red wines chilled for that special touch. Bonus points if the wine glasses are still warm and wet from the dishwasher.

Step 2: Opt for Poor-Quality Cuts of Meat

Christmas is traditionally a time for indulgence, and your customers will likely expect to enjoy high-quality festive dishes. But if your goal is to drive them away, then skimping on ingredients is the fastest route to dissatisfaction.

Replace Premium Cuts with Cheaper Alternatives: Replace that prime rib with tough, gristly cuts. Who needs succulent turkey when you can serve a dry, flavourless bird that was frozen for months? Or even serve catering industry pressed turkey rounds, rather than fresh turkey? Bonus points if your steak requires a hacksaw to cut through.

Go for Processed, Pre-Packaged Options: Skip the freshly prepared roasts, gravies, and sauces. Instead, stock up on pre-packaged, mass-produced alternatives. Customers won't mind if their Christmas dinner tastes like a school cafeteria meal… or maybe they will, and they won’t be back.

Overcook or Undercook Everything: There’s nothing quite like a Christmas roast that’s either charred to a crisp or practically raw. If you’re aiming for bad reviews, ensuring every dish comes out of the kitchen improperly cooked is a surefire method.

Step 3: Hire Indifferent or Hostile Serving Staff

Service is often the make-or-break factor in the restaurant business. But if you’re looking to alienate your customers, nothing works better than unwelcoming, apathetic, or downright rude staff.

Hire Staff Who Don't Care: When interviewing potential waitstaff, look for candidates who display zero enthusiasm for hospitality. If they roll their eyes at the thought of serving customers, you’ve found the perfect fit.

Encourage Staff to Be Indifferent: Train your team to avoid eye contact, ignore guests who try to get their attention, and never, ever smile. After all, Christmas is about making people feel unwelcome, isn't it?

Respond to Complaints with Hostility: If customers dare to express dissatisfaction, make sure your staff respond defensively or even aggressively. Accusing them of being too picky or telling them they're wrong is a brilliant way to guarantee they'll never return.

Step 4: Create a Miserable Atmosphere

The Christmas season is supposed to be about warmth, joy, and celebration, so naturally, you’ll want to go in the opposite direction.

Skip the Christmas Decorations: If you do decide to put up any decorations, make sure they’re sparse, tacky, or downright depressing. A few sad-looking tinsel strands and a broken fairy light should do the trick.

Play Inappropriate or Annoying Music: Forget festive classics. Instead, choose music that’s either gratingly upbeat or completely inappropriate for the season. Better yet, have no music at all, so diners can fully appreciate the awkward silence.

Maintain an Uncomfortable Temperature: Whether it’s freezing cold or stiflingly hot, make sure your restaurant is as uncomfortable as possible. A broken heater or an open window on a cold December night can really drive customers away.

Step 5: Ignore Dietary Requirements and Preferences

The modern diner often has dietary restrictions or preferences. But catering to those needs is only necessary if you actually want people to enjoy their experience.

Refuse to Accommodate Allergies: Gluten-free? Dairy-free? Vegetarian? Vegan? Who cares? Just don’t bother. A great way to ruin your reputation is by ignoring dietary requests and causing discomfort—or worse, allergic reactions.

Remove Any Special Menus: The holidays are a time when people like to indulge. Remove any festive specials or vegetarian options and replace them with your regular, uninspired menu. The fewer choices, the better.

Step 6: Use Social Media to Showcase Your Failures

If you really want to drive the final nail into the coffin of your restaurant or gastropub, use social media to document your failures.

Post Low-Quality Photos of Your Food: Share poorly lit, unappetising photos of your dishes on Instagram and Facebook. The worse the photo looks, the more likely it will deter potential customers.

Respond to Negative Reviews with Sarcasm: When disgruntled customers leave reviews on Google or TripAdvisor, make sure to respond with snarky comments or, better yet, ignore them entirely. Nothing screams professionalism like defensiveness.

Congratulations, You’ve Ruined Christmas!

By following this guide, you'll successfully drive away loyal patrons, discourage new customers, and ensure that your restaurant or gastropub is the talk of the town—for all the wrong reasons. Come January, you’ll have all the time in the world to reflect on how it all went wrong while sitting in your empty dining room.

But if you're reading this and thinking, “I don't actually want to ruin my business!” then consider this guide as a cautionary tale of what not to do. The festive season is your chance to shine. Treat your customers well, serve quality food, and create an atmosphere that makes people feel welcome, and you’ll reap the rewards for months to come.

Happy Christmas! And may your restaurant be filled with laughter, satisfied customers, and ringing tills!

Maybe one day I'll tell you the story of how my wife and I and a couple of friends stumbled upon a country pub/restaurant which had excellent food served by a perky and smiling young lady who was providing a good standard of silver service - whilst wearing a woolly beanie hat!

Why You Might Need to "Ask for Angela" in a Pub, Café, or Restaurant Over the Christmas Period

The festive season is one of joy, laughter, and celebration, but it's also a time when many of us find ourselves socialising more than usual—whether that's catching up with friends at a local pub, enjoying a cosy coffee date at a café, or indulging in a festive meal at a restaurant, or a work Christmas do.

However, not every social situation goes as planned, and sometimes, things can take an uncomfortable or even dangerous turn. 

That's where the "Ask for Angela" initiative comes in—a discreet code phrase that can offer an essential lifeline to anyone feeling unsafe.

What is "Ask for Angela"?

"Ask for Angela" is a safety campaign that was introduced in the UK in 2016 to help individuals discreetly signal that they need help if they are feeling threatened or unsafe. 

The idea is simple: if you're in a pub, café, or restaurant and feel uncomfortable—whether that's because of a bad date, a stranger’s unwanted attention, or just a situation that doesn’t feel right—you can go up to a member of staff and "Ask for Angela". Staff members will understand that this is a code for needing assistance and will then help you to leave the situation safely, either by arranging a taxi, offering a safe space, or even calling the authorities if necessary.

Why the Festive Season Can Be Riskier

Christmas is a time for celebration, and many of us use it as an opportunity to unwind and socialise. Unfortunately, the festive season also comes with increased risks:

Alcohol and lowered inhibitions: Many people drink more over the Christmas period, which can lead to poorer judgement and, in some cases, unwanted advances or inappropriate behaviour.

Busy venues: Pubs and restaurants are often packed during the festive season, making it easier for uncomfortable situations to escalate unnoticed by others. It's harder for friends to keep an eye on each other when crowds are large, and staff are often rushed off their feet.

Meeting new people: The Christmas season is a popular time for online dating, blind dates, and social gatherings with strangers. While most encounters go smoothly, the reality is that not everyone you meet will have good intentions. "Ask for Angela" offers a way out if your date takes an unexpected or unsettling turn.

Increased loneliness and vulnerability: Not everyone feels festive cheer during Christmas. Some people may feel lonely or vulnerable and, as a result, might end up in situations they’re not entirely comfortable with. Whether it's being pressured into staying longer than you’d like or dealing with someone who won't take "no" for an answer, it's important to have an exit strategy.

How "Ask for Angela" Works

If you ever feel uncomfortable or unsafe, the process of using "Ask for Angela" is straightforward:

Approach a staff member: Find a member of staff behind the bar, counter, or at the reception area. It’s best to do this away from the person causing the discomfort if possible.

Use the phrase discreetly: Simply say, "Can I speak to Angela, please?" The staff should recognise this as a request for help and will take you aside to assess the situation discreetly.

Receive assistance: Depending on the circumstances, staff may offer to call a taxi, escort you to a safe area, or alert security or the police. They are trained to help you leave the situation without drawing attention to the fact that you're seeking help.

How Venues Can Support the Initiative

For "Ask for Angela" to be truly effective, venues need to actively participate. Here are some ways that pubs, cafés, and restaurants can make sure the initiative works:

Display posters: Visible signs in bathrooms, near the bar, or in seating areas can help remind patrons that this service is available.

Train staff: Employees should be trained on how to respond quickly and discreetly if someone uses the "Ask for Angela" phrase.

Create a supportive atmosphere: Encouraging a safe environment and zero tolerance for harassment can go a long way in preventing uncomfortable situations from arising in the first place.

Final Thoughts

The "Ask for Angela" initiative is an empowering tool that can help ensure everyone feels safe while socialising, especially during the Christmas period when people are more likely to be out celebrating. Whether you're meeting friends, family, or even new acquaintances, it's comforting to know that help is just a discreet question away.

So, this festive season, while you're out enjoying yourself, keep "Ask for Angela" in mind—not just for yourself, but for others who may need support. By raising awareness and using it when necessary, we can help make the holiday season safer and more enjoyable for everyone.

Stay safe, and happy Christmas!