Christmas Isn’t Always Merry For Everyone: Why Reaching Out Matters More Than Ever

A gentle reminder to reach out to friends and family who may be struggling with physical or mental health issues over Christmas, and why small acts of kindness matter.

Christmas is often wrapped up as a season of joy, togetherness and goodwill. For many people, it genuinely is. 

But for others, the festive period can be one of the hardest times of the year, especially for those living with physical illness, mental health challenges, or a combination of both.

That’s why one of the most meaningful things we can do at Christmas isn’t buying another gift or planning another social event, but simply reaching out.

The Hidden Struggles of the Festive Season

Illness doesn’t pause for Christmas. Chronic pain, mobility issues, fatigue, anxiety, depression, grief and loneliness all continue regardless of what the calendar says. In fact, the pressure to “be festive” can make these struggles feel even heavier.

For some people:

Cold weather worsens pain or breathing conditions

Shorter days increase feelings of depression or isolation

Financial stress compounds existing anxiety

Grief feels sharper when traditions highlight who is missing

And many people suffer quietly, not wanting to “spoil Christmas” for others.

Why People Often Don’t Ask for Help

One of the cruellest parts of both physical and mental illness is how isolating it can be. People may worry about being a burden, feel embarrassed, or assume everyone else is too busy enjoying themselves to notice.

At Christmas, this reluctance can deepen. No one wants to be the person who admits they’re struggling while everyone else seems cheerful and busy.

That’s why waiting for someone to ask for help often isn’t enough.

The Power of a Simple Message

Reaching out doesn’t require the perfect words. A short text, message or call can be incredibly powerful:

“I was just thinking of you and wanted to check how you’re doing.”

“No pressure to reply, but I’m here if you need anything.”

“Would you like some company, or a quiet cuppa, this week?”

You’re not trying to fix anything. You’re simply reminding someone that they’re seen, remembered and not alone.

Practical Support Can Mean the World

For those with physical health issues, small practical gestures can be just as valuable as emotional support:

Offering to pick up shopping or prescriptions

Dropping off a home-cooked meal

Helping with transport to appointments

Sitting and chatting while they rest

These acts of kindness don’t need to be grand. Often, they’re remembered long after Christmas has passed.

Respect Boundaries, But Keep the Door Open

Not everyone will feel able to engage, and that’s okay. If someone declines an invitation or doesn’t respond straight away, don’t take it personally.

A gentle follow-up later, or a message that makes it clear there’s no obligation, can help keep the connection alive without pressure.

Christmas Kindness Lasts Beyond the Day

One important thing to remember is that struggles don’t magically end on Boxing Day. For many people, January can be even harder once the lights come down and routines return.

If you can, keep checking in after Christmas too. A message in early January can feel like a lifeline.

A Different Kind of Christmas Spirit

Reaching out to someone who may be struggling is one of the quiet, uncelebrated acts that truly embody the spirit of Christmas. It doesn’t come with wrapping paper or social media photos, but it can make an immeasurable difference.

This Christmas, alongside the food, the decorations and the traditions, let kindness take centre stage. A message, a call, or a knock at the door might be the most important gift you give.

Some useful resources:-

Samaritans – Free, confidential support 24/7

Call 116 123 or visit samaritans.org

NHS 111 – For urgent mental health help and advice

Call 111 or visit nhs.uk

Mind – Mental health information and local support services

Visit mind.org.uk

Age UK – Support for older people, including loneliness and health concerns

Call 0800 055 6112 or visit ageuk.org.uk

Shout – Text support for anyone in crisis

Text SHOUT to 85258 (24/7)

If someone is in immediate danger, always call 999.

Mental Health at Christmas: It’s OK If You’re Not Feeling Festive

Christmas is often presented as a season of joy, togetherness and goodwill.

 Adverts glow with perfect families, overflowing tables and endless cheer. 

Yet for many people, Christmas can be one of the most emotionally difficult times of the year. 

If you’re finding the season overwhelming, lonely or exhausting, you are far from alone.

Why Christmas Can Be Hard on Mental Health

The pressure to feel happy can be intense. There’s an unspoken expectation that Christmas should be magical, and when reality doesn’t match that ideal, it can leave people feeling inadequate or isolated.

Common challenges include:

Loneliness and isolation, particularly for those who live alone, are estranged from family, or have recently lost someone

Grief, which can feel sharper during traditions and anniversaries

Financial stress, as costs rise at a time when budgets are already stretched

Family tensions, with forced togetherness reopening old wounds

Exhaustion and burnout, from planning, hosting, travelling and social obligations

For people already living with anxiety, depression or other mental health conditions, Christmas can amplify existing struggles.

You Are Not Failing Christmas

One of the most important things to remember is this: struggling at Christmas does not mean you are doing it wrong. Christmas is not a test of your worth, your relationships or your success. It’s simply a date on the calendar, and your mental health matters more than any tradition.

It’s okay if:

You don’t feel festive

You simplify or skip traditions

Your Christmas looks different to everyone else’s

You need quiet rather than company

Gentle Ways to Protect Your Wellbeing

You don’t need to transform your Christmas to protect your mental health. Small, kind choices can make a big difference.

Lower expectations

Give yourself permission to do less. Not every card needs sending, not every event needs attending, and not every meal needs to be perfect.

Set boundaries

It’s okay to say no. Whether it’s limiting time with difficult relatives or declining social invitations, boundaries are a form of self-care, not selfishness.

Create your own version of Christmas

Your Christmas can be a walk, a film, a simple meal, or a quiet day with a book. Meaning doesn’t have to look traditional.

Stay connected in small ways

A message, a phone call, or a short visit can help maintain connection without overwhelming you.

Look after your body

Regular meals, hydration, fresh air and rest all support mental health, especially during darker winter days.

If You’re Struggling Right Now

If Christmas is bringing up feelings you’re finding hard to cope with, support is available. Speaking to someone you trust can be a powerful first step. If things feel heavier, professional help can make a real difference.

In the UK, organisations like Samaritans, Mind, and NHS 111 can offer support and guidance. Reaching out is not a sign of weakness – it’s an act of strength.

Christmas doesn’t have to be loud, busy or perfect to be meaningful. It can be quiet. It can be gentle. It can simply be about getting through.

If all you do this Christmas is take care of yourself, that is more than enough.

How Your Christmas Gifting Can Help Young Minds With Sport in Mind

Sport in Mind is the leading mental health sports charity in England and Wales. A spokesperson told That's Christmas 365: "Our mission is to transform the nation’s mental health through sport and our trailblazing work harnesses the power of sport to inspire, educate, and promote good mental health."

Since its formation back in 2010, Sport in Mind’s long-term partnership with the NHS has enabled them to transform the lives of in excess of 31,000 people who were struggling with mental health challenges. 

While research shows being active is clinically proven to improve mental health, sedentary living remains prevalent among children and adults with mental health problems caused by many issues (eg non-supportive environments, low levels of confidence and self-esteem, social anxiety, mental health challenges, etc).

Sport in Mind’s unique UK-based programmes are designed to combat these barriers and champion the benefits of physical activity to make sport accessible to all. 

They support, unite and transform the lives of some of the most vulnerable, disengaged members of society, creating vital sustained social impact.

In 2023/24 there were 3.8 million people being treated by the NHS mental health services, including one million children and young people

Sport in Mind's mission to transform the nation's mental health through sport and physical activity has never been more important.

They have also recently launched their Soles of the Season Appeal after finding that short winter days negatively impact mental health and wellbeing.

The research found that 55% of people say darker evenings negatively impact their mental health and 67% reported that shorter days reduce their motivation and ability to be physically active.

The winter fundraising campaign invites the public to “step up” for mental health by supporting the charity’s life-changing programmes to ensure people continue receiving vital support at the time they need it most.

Chief executive Neil Harris told That's Christmas 365: "Christmas can be a good amazing time for some people but for a lot of people it creates a lot of anxiety.

"A lot of people feel quite lonely and quite isolated so it's really important to reach out to people and connect with them."

How can you help? By visiting their shop https://www.sportinmind.org/shop and buying their wide range of clothing, including socks, drinking cups, journals and breathing cards.

Reaching Out to Lonely People at Christmas. The Gift of Connection and the “Blue Christmas” Service

The festive season is often described as the most wonderful time of the year, but for many, Christmas can be an incredibly lonely time. 

While some homes are filled with laughter, lights, and family gatherings, others remain quiet, with only memories for company. 

Whether it’s due to bereavement, illness, distance, or simply feeling disconnected, loneliness at Christmas is far more common than we might realise.

Why Christmas Can Feel So Lonely

Christmas has a way of amplifying emotions. The constant stream of cheerful adverts, festive songs, and social media updates can make anyone who isn’t feeling merry feel even more isolated. For people who have lost loved ones, who are estranged from family, or who live alone, the contrast can be especially painful.

Even those surrounded by others can still feel lonely, a reminder that loneliness isn’t always about being physically alone, but about feeling unseen or unheard.

How We Can Reach Out

You don’t need to be part of a charity or organisation to make a difference. Small, simple acts of kindness can mean the world to someone:

Send a card or message. A handwritten note can brighten someone’s day and remind them that they’re not forgotten.

Pick up the phone. A five-minute chat can make someone feel valued and connected.

Extend an invitation. If you know someone spending Christmas alone, invite them for a meal, a walk, or even just a cup of tea.

Check on neighbours. Knock on the door of an elderly neighbour or someone new to the area. A friendly word at the gate or doorstep can make a huge difference.

Support local initiatives. Many churches, cafés, and community groups hold free or low-cost festive events open to everyone.

The “Blue Christmas” Service

For those who find Christmas difficult, some churches across the UK hold what’s known as a “Blue Christmas” service (sometimes called a “Longest Night” service).

These gentle, reflective gatherings acknowledge that not everyone feels joyful at this time of year. The lights are dimmed, the music is calm, and the focus is on comfort, remembrance, and hope.

People come together to share quiet reflection, whether they’re grieving, struggling with mental health, missing loved ones, or simply feeling overwhelmed. There’s often an opportunity to light a candle in memory or as a symbol of peace.

If you or someone you know could use a moment of calm or comfort this Christmas, it’s worth checking if a local church or community centre is hosting a Blue Christmas service. Many welcome people of all faiths or none.

The True Spirit of Christmas

At its heart, Christmas is about kindness, compassion, and connection. Reaching out to someone who’s lonely, whether through a kind word, a small gesture, or an invitation, truly embodies that spirit.

As we exchange gifts and prepare our festive tables, let’s remember those who might be struggling this season. Sometimes, the most meaningful gift we can offer isn’t wrapped in paper at all, it’s our time, our empathy, and our presence.

Resources and Support for Anyone Feeling Lonely at Christmas

If you or someone you know is finding this time of year difficult, you don’t have to face it alone. These UK organisations offer friendship, practical advice, and emotional support — especially over the festive period:

Marmalade Trust

 – The UK’s leading loneliness charity. Their Christmas Cheer and Connections projects help people who would otherwise be alone to enjoy companionship and community during the holidays.

https://www.marmaladetrust.org

The Silver Line

 – A free, confidential helpline for older people (aged 55+) offering friendship, conversation, and information 24 hours a day, every day of the year. Call 0800 4 70 80 90.

https://www.thesilverline.org.uk

Re-engage

 – Helps older people who live alone through telephone befriending, social tea parties, and local community activities. A wonderful way to reconnect.

https://reengage.org.uk

Campaign to End Loneliness

 – Offers a national directory of local services and groups tackling loneliness, along with useful guidance for those who want to reach out and help.

https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/feeling-lonely/helpful-links

Mind

 – Mental health charity providing advice and information on how to cope with loneliness, grief, and stress during the Christmas season.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/christmas-and-mental-health/supporting-others-at-christmas

The Church of England’s Blue Christmas Services

 – Many churches across the country hold reflective “Blue Christmas” or “Longest Night” services, offering comfort, space, and peace for those who find the season challenging. Check your local parish listings for details.

https://www.churchofengland.org/resources/digital-labs/blogs/blue-christmas-digital-tips-and-resources-churches

knus Thanks Volunteers and Wishes Everyone a Merry Christmas

A spokesman for knus said: "As we gather to celebrate the season of giving, knus would like to extend our heartfelt gratitude to the incredible volunteers who have been the backbone of our mission throughout the year. Your time, energy, and compassion have made a lasting impact on our communities and the people we serve.

"At knus, we believe that small acts of kindness can create a ripple effect of positive change. Thanks to our volunteers, we’ve been able to bring comfort, joy, and hope to countless individuals this year. Through your tireless work, your creative ideas, or your unwavering support behind the scenes, you have truly embodied the spirit of giving that defines this season.

"As we look forward to a new year of opportunities to spread kindness and connection, we pause to reflect on all we’ve accomplished together. Your efforts have made knus a place, where care and compassion shine brightest.

"From everyone at knus, we wish you and your loved ones a very Merry Christmas filled with warmth, joy, and the love of those around you. May the holiday season bring you peace and happiness, just as you have brought to so many others.

"Thank you for being part of the knus family. Here’s to another year of spreading kindness, one connection at a time!

"Warm Wishes,

The knus Management Team."

For more information about knus and their mental initiatives, visit knus.io.

"Feel better with the UK’s first free, confidential, peer support and coaching chat service, connecting you with trained and experienced peer support coaches."

Looking After Your Mental Health at Christmas

The festive season is often portrayed as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. 

However, for many, Christmas can bring feelings of stress, loneliness, or overwhelm. 

Whether it's the pressure to meet expectations, the financial strain of gift-giving, or the challenge of navigating family dynamics, it’s important to prioritise your mental health during this busy time of year. Here are some practical tips to help you stay balanced and well.

1. Manage Expectations

Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect or resemble the glossy images we see in adverts. Set realistic expectations for yourself and others. Remember, it’s okay if things don’t go as planned. Focus on what truly matters to you, whether that’s spending time with loved ones, enjoying a quiet day, or giving back to your community.

2. Set a Budget

Financial stress can dampen the festive spirit. Decide on a budget for gifts, food, and activities, and stick to it. Homemade gifts or thoughtful gestures can be just as meaningful as expensive presents. Communicate with friends and family if you’re cutting back—most people will understand.

3. Take Time for Yourself

Amidst the hustle and bustle, carve out moments for self-care. Whether it’s a walk in nature, reading a book, or practising mindfulness, these small acts can help recharge your energy and reduce stress. It’s okay to say no to social invitations if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

4. Acknowledge Your Feelings

If you’re struggling, allow yourself to feel those emotions without judgment. It’s normal to feel sadness or anxiety, especially if you’re missing loved ones or facing personal challenges. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can provide relief and perspective.

5. Stay Active

Exercise is a natural mood booster. Even a short walk or light stretching can release endorphins and help reduce stress. If possible, make physical activity part of your festive routine, such as a family stroll after Christmas dinner.

6. Limit Alcohol and Rich Foods

While it’s tempting to indulge during Christmas, excessive alcohol and heavy meals can affect your mood and energy levels. Aim for balance, and stay hydrated to feel your best.

7. Reach Out if You’re Lonely

Christmas can feel isolating, especially if you’re spending it alone. Consider volunteering, attending community events, or connecting with friends online. Reaching out to others can create a sense of belonging and purpose.

8. Maintain Healthy Boundaries

Family gatherings can sometimes be stressful. If certain topics or behaviours cause tension, set boundaries in advance. Excuse yourself for a breather if needed, and remember that it’s okay to prioritise your peace.

9. Reflect on the Year

The end of the year is a natural time for reflection. Instead of focusing on what didn’t go as planned, celebrate your achievements, big or small. Gratitude journaling can help shift your mindset and bring positivity into the season.

10. Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you’re feeling persistently low or anxious, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. Many organisations and helplines remain open during the holidays, ready to provide assistance.

Final Thoughts

Christmas doesn’t have to be a whirlwind of stress. By prioritising your mental health, you can create a season that feels meaningful and manageable for you. Remember, the greatest gift you can give yourself and others is your well-being.

Take care of yourself this Christmas—you deserve it.

We hope the following resources will be of help:-

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/

https://www.samaritans.org/

https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/