How to Run a Blue Christmas Service for People Feeling Lonely or Bereaved

For many, Christmas is filled with joy, gatherings, and celebration. However, for those experiencing loneliness, grief, or difficult emotions, the season can be overwhelming. 

A "Blue Christmas" service acknowledges that Christmas can bring sadness, pain, and solitude, and it provides a compassionate space for people to reflect, grieve, and find hope.

Running a Blue Christmas service can be a meaningful way for your church to reach out to those feeling the weight of the season. 

Here’s a guide to creating a service that’s gentle, sensitive, and supportive.

1. Choose a Suitable Date and Time

Blue Christmas services are typically held in mid-December, early enough to avoid the busy days just before Christmas but close enough to resonate with those who are already feeling the season’s pressures. Evening services can be particularly fitting, as a quieter, candle-lit setting often provides a more reflective atmosphere.

Be mindful of accessibility and convenience—some people may feel hesitant about coming out in the evening, especially in winter. If possible, offer assistance for those who might need help with transport.

2. Design a Simple, Welcoming Space

The atmosphere of a Blue Christmas service is one of gentle peace. Use dimmed lighting, soft candles, or fairy lights to create a warm, inviting space. Avoid the usual bright holiday decor or bustling decorations, opting instead for a more minimalist approach. Perhaps, display a few simple, symbolic items like a single wreath, a nativity scene, or a small Christmas tree with blue and white ornaments.

Consider setting up comfortable seating arrangements that encourage a sense of community but also allow for privacy. Some attendees may prefer a little distance, so allow people to sit where they feel most comfortable.

3. Promote the Service Thoughtfully

It’s important to advertise your Blue Christmas service with sensitivity. Some people may feel self-conscious attending a service labelled specifically for loneliness or grief. You might use language that emphasises the service as a "quiet Christmas reflection" or a "peaceful service for those seeking comfort."

Make clear that this service is open to all—lonely individuals, those experiencing loss or hardship, carers, or anyone feeling a need for reflection. Promote the event through your usual church channels but also consider local mental health groups, bereavement support organisations, or community centres, as these can help spread the word to those who may benefit most.

4. Structure the Service with Care

The tone of a Blue Christmas service should be reflective, gentle, and supportive. Some ideas to consider:

Soft, Meditative Music – Open and close with quiet instrumental music, or soft hymns and carols that lend a sense of peace without being overly celebratory.

Acknowledge Different Types of Loss – During the service, gently mention different forms of grief and loneliness—bereavement, divorce, distance from family, financial hardship, or job loss. Acknowledge that pain takes many forms, and no one is alone in experiencing it.

Scripture and Readings – Choose comforting readings that speak to God’s presence in hard times. Psalms like Psalm 34:18 ("The Lord is close to the brokenhearted") or Isaiah 40:31 ("They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength") can bring peace to heavy hearts.

Moments of Silence and Reflection – Allow time for private reflection and silent prayer, which can feel deeply healing for those dealing with difficult emotions.

Lighting of Candles – Invite attendees to light candles as symbols of hope and remembrance. A candle-lighting ritual, where each person lights a candle for a loved one or personal struggle, can be a powerful communal expression of both grief and resilience.

5. Consider a Time for Sharing and Prayer

Some people may find solace in sharing their thoughts or memories in a safe, understanding environment. If appropriate, consider offering a short, optional time for sharing, where individuals can speak a few words about someone they miss or something they’re finding difficult. Keep this voluntary, as many may prefer to remain silent.

Encourage attendees to bring forward prayer requests, whether for themselves, a loved one, or a personal burden. Prayers during this time can focus on God’s comfort, strength, and compassion, acknowledging that His light remains present even in dark times.

6. End with a Blessing of Peace and Hope

Conclude with a gentle blessing, something that speaks to peace, comfort, and the hope found in God’s presence. Remind attendees that it’s perfectly natural to experience sadness at Christmas and that they’re not alone in their struggles.

Send them off with a small token, if possible—something simple, like a prayer card, a candle, or a small angel ornament. These items can serve as reminders of the support they felt at the service and of God’s enduring care.

7. Offer a Follow-Up or Support Option

For many, a single service may spark the need for ongoing support. Have information available about local counselling services, support groups, or mental health resources. Let attendees know about any pastoral care options your church offers, whether through regular services, pastoral visits, or support groups for those dealing with grief.

Additionally, consider hosting a post-service gathering with tea and biscuits or a small snack. Maybe mince pies? This can create a comforting, low-pressure space for people to connect or talk if they wish to.

Final Thoughts

A Blue Christmas service provides a sanctuary where people can feel seen, heard, and understood. For many, it will be a precious time to remember, grieve, and find a sense of peace that’s often missing during the Christmas rush. It’s a beautiful reminder that Christ’s light shines in all seasons and through all emotions, meeting us exactly where we are.

Your church’s willingness to hold space for those who struggle with the season can be a profound act of compassion and faith. In doing so, you not only bring comfort to those who attend but also create a lasting impact, spreading a message of hope and acceptance that can reach far beyond the Christmas season.

How to Run a Christingle Service in Your Church

The Christingle service is a well-loved, family-friendly event in the church calendar, typically held around Christmas. 

Originally introduced by the Moravian Church in Germany in 1747, Christingle services became popular in the UK in the 1960s through the Children's Society, which uses the event to raise awareness and support for vulnerable children. 

Today, it's a beautiful way for the church to engage families, teach about Jesus as the Light of the World, and support a meaningful cause.

If you're considering running a Christingle service, here are some helpful steps and ideas for making it a joyful and impactful event.

1. Plan the Date and Venue

Traditionally, Christingle services are held on or around Advent and Christmas, so December is a great time. Some churches hold their Christingle on Christmas Eve, while others might opt for an earlier date in Advent to avoid holiday travel and allow more families to attend.

Also, consider your venue. Christingle services are popular and tend to draw larger crowds, so ensure there's ample space. If you anticipate a large gathering, think about safety protocols, especially as the service involves open flames.

2. Prepare Christingle Kits in Advance

The centrepiece of the service is the Christingle itself, an orange decorated with a candle, red ribbon, dried fruits, and sweets. Each part of the Christingle has symbolic meaning, representing different aspects of the Christian faith.

To prepare for the service, you’ll need:

Oranges – symbolising the world

Red ribbon – representing the love and sacrifice of Jesus

Four cocktail sticks – pointing to the four corners of the world

Dried fruits or sweets – symbolising the fruits of the earth and God’s gifts

Candle – representing Christ, the Light of the World

It can be helpful to prepare Christingle kits ahead of time, either by having a volunteer team assemble them or by setting up a workstation where families can make them together at the start of the service. This way, everyone can take part actively.

3. Organise Volunteers and Roles

To ensure everything runs smoothly, you’ll need a team of volunteers for roles like:

Welcoming and guiding families to their seats

Distributing Christingle kits and matches or electric candles

Helping with a collection if your service is raising funds for the Children's Society or another charity

Safety marshals to manage any fire hazards and help guide participants during candle-lighting

If possible, arrange a brief volunteer meeting beforehand to discuss the service plan and safety guidelines.

4. Incorporate Teaching Elements for All Ages

A Christingle service is a wonderful opportunity to engage all ages in the Christmas story. Consider including:

A simple, interactive talk explaining each part of the Christingle

A short Christmas reading from the Gospels, highlighting Jesus as the Light

Carols and songs that are easy to sing along with, adding to the sense of celebration

Prayers and reflections, encouraging everyone to reflect on the meaning of Christ’s light in their lives

You might also choose to incorporate a short video, storytelling, or a children's activity, so kids can understand and relate to the symbols in the Christingle.

5. Set Up for Candle-Lighting Safely

The candle-lighting is the most memorable part of the Christingle service, as the lights dim, and everyone’s Christingle is lit, symbolising Jesus bringing light into the world. Here are some tips for managing this safely:

Practice a clear procedure for lighting – some churches light the candles at the altar and pass the flame along each row; others may have adults light their children’s candles

Consider flameless LED candles for very young children or for any attendees who may be uncomfortable with fire

Appoint a safety team to monitor the lighting and to have extinguishers or water buckets nearby, just in case

Encourage parents to supervise children closely, and remind attendees to handle their candles carefully during this special moment.

6. End with a Blessing and an Invitation

Conclude the service with a final blessing or prayer, sending families home with the warmth of the Christingle and the message of Jesus’ light. Many churches also encourage families to place their Christingles in their windows at home to extend the light further.

If you’re raising funds, remember to thank everyone for their contributions and, if possible, share a little about how the funds will help support children in need. Also, consider inviting attendees to upcoming Christmas events or services, welcoming them to continue exploring faith in the New Year.

7. Create Lasting Memories for Families

For many families, a Christingle service is a cherished tradition. Think about ways to help them remember the experience, such as:

Taking photos or videos (with permission) to share on social media or in the church newsletter

Giving each child a small takeaway item, like a Christingle colouring sheet or prayer card

Encouraging families to reflect on Christingle at home, perhaps lighting their Christingle candle as they say a prayer

Final Thoughts

Christingle services provide a beautiful opportunity to bring the community together in celebration, reflection, and generosity. With a little planning, your church can create an inspiring, meaningful service that engages people of all ages and backgrounds. And as they light their candles, they’ll be reminded of the hope, joy, and love that Christ brings to the world – a message that resonates far beyond the Christmas season.

Running a Christingle service can feel like a big task, but the memories made and the message shared make it more than worthwhile. Good luck, and may your Christingle bring light to many this Christmas!